DETERMINING OUR DESTINY

 

 

 

 

 

 

''Our destiny is determined by what we choose to do each time we stumble''.

Our destiny is not determined by the number of times we stumble but by the number of times we rise up, dust ourselves off, and move forward, we often find obstacles in the way of our dreams. However, all is not lost as long as we continue striving to reach our goals.

The number of times we stumble

when we meet with challenges, we have two options: we can either give up or we can fight for what we want. Often, our trials can be viewed by others as reasonable excuses to let go of our life dreams. Many people, trying to help, may even encourage us to stop trying because they worry how potential failures will affect us. But when we stop attempting to succeed in life we ultimately hurt ourselves, often giving in to the depression that comes with failure and neglected goals. Only when we accept our guaranteed future stumbles will we be able to see them for what they are: merely setbacks along our journey to success.

Rise up
The idea of serving others while enduring our own struggles can at times seem illogical and unimportant. However, there is a power that comes to individuals who consistently make service part of their lives, regardless of their own personal circumstances. While working toward our personal goals is rewarding, the experiences gained from serving others are lessons impossible to learn elsewhere. The only way to truly understand the soul-magnifying experience of service is to do it.

The service we give others doesn’t have to consist of huge, time-consuming hours. Taking the time to listen, being patient in a long line, or reading a story to a child are small acts most can do. There are opportunities to serve all around us, most of which can be found within the walls of our homes. Serving in our homes isn’t the most glamorous of projects and often is done without recognition. But the relationships we forge within our families are the ones that ultimately give us the greatest peace and enjoyment throughout our lives.

Dust off

It can be OK to change our dreams, especially if those dreams mature and change for the better. Changing goals does not mean we’ve failed, it instead means we have chosen a different path. It is important to have dreams so our souls can have something to attain to. No matter the challenging circumstances, not having goals can cripple us spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Good goals help our spirits soar as we attempt to push ourselves in ways to better ourselves and others.

Move forward

As we continually stumble and rise along life’s paths we learn from our trials and mistakes. The act of persevering, no matter how slowly, is important. Often, it is only at the end of our road that we realize how those trials actually helped mould us into the courageous people we are. Habakkuk2:3. Don’t lose heart; dust off and move forward. God bless you all.

 

ACCEPTING TRIALS FOR OUR GROWTH

Life is full of choices: Water or soda? Which job to take? Which bank to choose? What shoe to wear, Black shoes or red? Every day we make hundreds of small choices and a few big ones. There are things we have control over and things we don't. One of the biggest things we can control is our attitude. Not easy — to be sure — but ultimately we choose how we handle things.

We all have trials. Often the first thing we think of to do is pray that they go away. Please God make my kids behave, Please God change my marital status this year, and God bless my marriage with the fruit of the womb, Want to gain admission to school, Please make him love me. Yes it’s always good to confront them in prayer but at the same time we need to learn from it. When those things don't happen according to our own plan, we sometimes blame God for not answering our prayers. We get angry. We give up. see this Jeremiah 29:11.

Another way to look at these trials is that they are just that — trials. They are given to us as little gifts to help us become the people we need to become to be worthy to return to God. So instead of cursing the challenges and asking God why me! , we can change our outlook and our attitude and make the best out of the moment while it last because no condition is permanent in life. Instead of asking for an end to the storm, we can adjust our sails. Rather than praying for an end to our trials, we can embrace them and ask, "What would you have me learn from these?"

Tips on getting through it all:

1. Examine what is going on and why — then act on it. For example, The kids are misbehaving. Is it because they are learning the art of the stage? Let them fuss. Is it because they are attention-seeking because we have been super busy with other things? Maybe we should give them a little more of our time. Is it because there is something else bothering them? Problems at school? We need to ask and listen. But, rather than being miserable through it or praying it away, we ought to smile, learn and tell them we love them and wouldn't trade them for the world. Well I don't have any yet but I have lived with them.

2. Accept what you cannot change. Are you troubled because you are not going for NYSC to serve with your mate coz of that carry over , or have served for 5years now and no job, you are so depressed coz all your friends are now married and you are still single. Now what?  we need to learn reliance on God. It's OK to ask him to make the circumstance go away. But if the answer to our prayers  are been delayed, accept it and learn to live and love every moment. We can find joy in every moment in between. Sudden and unexpected unemployment? Maybe there's a better one around the corner. Maybe it's time for some further education or training. Perhaps we have a talent that is not being fulfilled. we should make the most of our time and learn from it.

3. Remember that some trials are to teach us about ourselves. When Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac, it wasn't to prove to God how obedient he was. It was for Abraham to learn how obedient he was. God already knew him.

4. Other trails are to see how we will react. Sometimes a trial is given to us to see how we will handle it. Will we grouse or will we make the best of a bad situation? Will we turn our back on those we love, including God? Or, will we turn to him and to our circles of support and lean on them and, realizing that the trial probably affects more than just you, allow them to lean on us?

5. Keep the lines of communication open. Live worthy to receive the gift of promptings and pray always. When we pray, we need to remember it is a two-way conversation and take a moment to listen at the end. Also, we should remember to thank him for all that we do have before we lay out our problems to him.

6. Seek opportunities to serve. It may sound silly when we are in the midst of chaos to seek out someone else to serve, but it works. Also serving in the house of God is profitable Exodus 23:25-26. There is great peace found in service and closeness to God that can't be felt elsewhere. We can always easily find someone worse off than we are and help them.

I think there are lessons I have missed learning because I prayed the trials away before I had a chance to learn from them. Now I try to remember to accept and ask God, "What would you have me learn from this?”. In every situation always be joyful & gives thanks to God coz he is too faithful to fail.

 

HEAVEN OR HELL?

Recently  I came across this story on the testimony of heaven and hell and the condition of today's church  and it really got me thinking. I know a lot of people have read something similar to this or heard stories like this and are probably tired of listening to such stories over again, so they doubt the authenticity and probably just shun similar stories. Truth is whether such stories are true or not, The Bible has made us to understand that the world is definitely coming to an end one day and we will all be judged according to our acts on earth. So the question is do YOU want to make heaven or hell?

 

I have watched loved ones die, and attended a few burial ceremonies, each reminding me that one day I would go under the ground too. The funny thing about life is that it is so uncertain, I have seen people alive one moment and the next day dead! We never really know when we will die but as Christians we hope to live long. Also, God can decide that it’s our time to go at any point in time and we can’t question his decisions. That is why for everyday you are able to wake up, no matter your condition you should actually give thanks to God because it is not normal, it is a PRIVILEDGE. A lot of people holier and better than you did not wake up to see another day but you did!

I really don’t want to divert so much from the reason why I decided to write this article so let me just get to it.

Hell is a really bad place to go to because the suffering is real and everlasting but since we have heaven which is a far better place, we should work towards getting there. You need to understand that the race of life is a very personal race. Your mum, dad, spouse or best friend can not help you to make heaven. I really don’t want to sound like a pastor now or sound so religious but I just want to pass a message across to whoever is reading this. We have all gotten so engrossed in things of the world and when I say things of the world I don’t necessarily mean bad things. It could be our academics, jobs and all that keeps us busy. We have gotten so busy with them that we forget the essence of our living. Note that whatever we do here on earth does not matter at all after we are gone. I am sure you might have attended a burial and seen that even the rich get buried with nothing. They go empty!

So please let’s not forget that we are here for only a while, YOU have to make heaven, WE have to! The suffering in hell is real and unbearable! We have to practically work towards making heaven. We have to plan, work and determine in our heart to make heaven. And start now because you never know when the time will come. Take a break, sit down and actually reflect on your life. Yes, God has given us a free passport to heaven which is salvation but if you claim to have given your life to Christ, can you confidently say that you are sure of making it to heaven with the way you go about your daily life?

 

This is left for us to decide and start making changes in the areas of our life that  we need to, and also, rededicate our life if we want to live with God forever. May God give us the grace to live a righteous life. According to Bishop David O. Oyedepo, he says it is foolishness to be shameful of what is gainful!

 

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT FOR NEWLY WED

 

My husband and I will be celebrating  our one-year anniversary by November. We have always heard that the first year is the hardest, so in some ways, it’s hard to believe that marriage gets even better from here. In other ways, we completely agree because there was so much we needed to learn about conflict management. Whether you’re a newlywed or an old pro, we hope that the insights we have gained will decrease the contention and increase the love in your marriage, too.
State your expectations.

Like almost every other couple ever, my husband and I come from very different families and therefore have very different ideas of what “normal” home life is like. It took a full year for me to realize that it didn’t matter how obvious a course of action seemed to be; my husband really had no idea what I thought he ought to do. He realized the same was true of me.

Be more open about the things you think are “obvious.” It's as simple as saying, “I was thinking you were going to help me clear the table,” and, “Oh sorry, I thought if you wanted me to help, you would ask.” Your conflicts will decrease immediately and you'll have a few good laughs about it, too.

The early years of marriage play an important role in what your family culture will be. Together, you establish the value system that defines your family. The first step in this process is to make your assumptions known. This takes a lot of work. (After all, most expectations feel too obvious to even mention.) However, sharing your notions of how things “ought to be” helps you and your spouse to come to a consensus about what works best for your family.
It’s OK to take a breather.

Crying is not my body’s response to emotional stimuli but being silence work for me better. For others, the issue may be tears or not tears, anger or confusion. It’s OK to take a time-out and burn-off the emotional energy. A time-out can lead to more rational thinking and more loving feelings. When you come back, you both have gotten a much-needed break from a stressful conversation and are prepared to contribute to the conversation maturely. It works wonders. Taking a break from conflicts allows you to focus on the issue at hand, not how you feel about it.
You’re allowed to have an opinion.

One of the things I love best about my husband is that he is so easygoing. It’s hard to ruffle his feathers and he’s generally happy to just go along with what I want at time. If your spouse is not usually the one to make decisions, she may enjoy a reminder that you want to know what she has to say on the subject. Try having a conversation where you simply learn about your spouse’s feelings and philosophies. Remember, however, that your spouse still gets the prerogative to be indifferent, especially if that’s one of his basic personality traits. Soliciting your sweetheart’s point of view is meant to be loving, not stressful.
“Do-overs” are lifesavers.

While it would be wonderful if we always said the right thing and never hurt each other’s feelings, my husband and I have many moments that we wish we could take back. That’s when we ask, “Can I try that again?” We re-enact the situation much more favourably, employing sympathy and enthusiasm instead of indifference or condescension.

This is one of my favourite things about our marriage dynamic. “Do-overs” give closure to a situation that didn’t go the way we’d hoped, not to mention giving us practice with doing things the right way. This is something we hope to implement with our children by God’s grace, too. After all, we all do a lot better given a second chance.

My husband and I certainly aren’t long-time pros at this whole marriage thing, but we do have a happy, strong relationship that helps us to have fun and become better people. Who wouldn’t want that? By being open about expectations, taking breathers, soliciting opinions, and trying again after messing up, we hope that our marriage, and yours, becomes the lasting, loving relationship we all hope and strive for.